Last week I spent a few days in the Ocean-side metropolis that is Ocean City, New Jersey. I often marvel at the “solutions” provided by the achetypal liberal New Jersey state government, many of which result in an increase in taxes and losses of freedom at some juncture. All of which synergize to make the state less attractive to new economic activity and livability.
While New Jersey is often characterized by its grotesque cornerstones of Camden and Newark, the horrible accent many of its residents have, and “Jersey Girls”, those portrayals fail to address the natural beauty the state has in the Northwestern region, many of the coastal areas, the Pine Barrens, and the millions of acres of farmland in South Jersey.
One thing that amused me as I crossed the Commodore Barry Bridge from the rathole known as Chester, PA to New Jersey is that the landscape changes from destitute urban to semi-rural/agrarian instantaneously, making New Jersey a welcome change along US 322. Another thing I noticed was the signage. Holy nanny-state, Gattman! So I decided to take a few pictures along the way
At a Wawa convenience store, a sign urges citizens to maintain vigilance and report people who leave their engine idling:
You also are required to pay a tax to get on the beach. There are “tag checkers” who, well not so diligently (because we had six tags for 20-some people) check to make sure that no tax-dodgers are on the beach. Sometimes if you see them coming, you can send people into the water.
By into the water, I mean into the approximately 50 yard stretch of water between green flags where you’re allowed to swim, under the watchful eyes of the 2 Ocean City Beach Patrol lifeguards. The particular stretch of water we were allowed in was waist deep for me out to about 75 yards with no waves. When I went beyond this, into what I’d consider “swimmable” water, I was whistled back. I asked the lifeguards if an accomplished swimmer like myself could endeavor to swim at the maximum distance allowable (waist deep) to the next lifeguard stand and back without being whistled at, and was told, flatly, “no”. So you pay a tax to go on the beach but are not allowed to swim outside the “baby pool”. Welcome to the new post category, known as “Nerf Life”. In addition to not being able to swim, here are a few other rules you’re subject to on New Jersey’s beaches:
Of course, I saw and participated in ball-throwing, and saw people with dogs, and went on the beach after hours*. There also appeared to be some level of picnicking occurring. So are these just written so that they can be enforced some of the time?
One thing that was NOT to be tolerated in New Jersey was unauthorized fireworks*. So hypothetically, it would’ve been a big deal to the kiddos when Uncle BadIdeaGuy lit up a cigar on Independence Day and declared it time for the unauthorized fireworks display on the beach after ten pm. Especially after this sign on the way into OC:
But maybe there were so many signs that I got distracted and missed this part of the sign…
Another favorite piece of signage was on what I call the Janus Trash Can (link). As I approached the trash cans to throw out a plastic bottle, I saw a red and green trash can with this label on them:
Huh? Someone put an umbrella in the recycler!! But then when you looked at the other side, you realized that they weren’t both recycling cans. Apparently the green can was for general non-recyclabe rubbish (only) as well as recyclables (only).
So I guess it’s a matter of perspective… One sign that perhaps I missed, which would be too counter to New Jersey’s politics as a nanny-state is prohibiting feeding the seagulls. The gulls were omnipresent and harassed us, squawking for the peoples’ bread. I explained to the kids why it’s not natural to feed seagulls, and how that really does harm to them, because they become dependent on us for food. And when some seagull poo landed on the sand nearby, I was able to illustrate that the gulls shouldn’t feel comfortable that close to humans, and that’s one side effect of people feeding them is that they harass you and poop on you.
